Lillian's Letter to Her Unborn Child: Difference between revisions

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Dear Darla,
My Darling Child,


So. Your not-very-functional brother is about to climb a mountain in Thibet to try and kill an enormous alien from the great beyond. I've given Jeremiah (he's back from the dead) this letter -- he's supposed to mail it if I croak while I'm up there.
Know that you are loved. The Dark Mother loves us all, but she has loved me very well, and has allowed me to emulate her in all things. Kali ceased her dancing for a time to succor the infant Shiva. The Destroyer had taken the form of an infant, to remind Kali that she was a mother. And so The Darkness that gave rise to all things nurtured the god who will one day destroy them. So I have been blessed with the chance, however brief it may be, to care for you.


Hopefully I won't croak.
Know this about your mother: there was a darkness about me. Others may try to shield you from this fact. Forgive them, they mean well. I have always found beauty in darkness. It is possible that you will find a darkness within you. Try to see its beauty.


(Right! So if you're getting this, I'm dead. Good news, everyone.)
It is likely that you will not fit well in most societies. You can blame me for that. I would apologize, but I must believe that it is part of Kali’s plan for you, as it was Her plan for me. I will attempt to give you an advantage I did not have, an understanding of your nature, and a sense of purpose to answer the question, “why was I made this way?”


I've named you and Isabella my next of kin, along with Jeremiah Andrews; Jeremiah Andrews is actually Jeremiah Rhodes, the man I was living in sin with in that apartment in New York.  
You were made to protect those who live in the light, though you may live much of your life in darkness, and be comforted by it. Kali loved me very much to give me this sacred duty, and with love I pass the duty on to you.


You're the executor on the will though, because unlike Isabella, you know what's going on here, and unlike Jeremiah, you're stoic and stolid and all those admirable qualities people are supposed to be when dealing with adverse circumstances (also you're not legally dead, which Jeremiah is, kind of, but it's complicated. Hopefully Vito's made all the necessary arrangements).
There will be joy and sorrow in your life, and I hope to be there to share some of it with you. You may find some of that joy and sorrow in strange places, as I did. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. The world is a strange and terrible and wonderful place, more so than words can express. You are part of the world, and you will be strange and terrible and wonderful, and that is the most human thing you could be.


Enclosed are the locations of all my creepy mythos notes (handily labelled with what notes and viscera are actually in each place), as well as keys to anything I've written in shorthand or code. Keys (the other kind) to the antique shop I've left with Jeremiah. There's also a copy in the safety deposit box.
I hope this is the first of many things I have to tell you, though honesty compels me to say it may be the last.


I don't need you to finish this. The mythos will fuck anyone up good given time, I'm only lucky I was fucked up good in the first place. If I die and the rest of my group doesn't, all my notes and most of my money will pass on to whoever survives (that, and a lot of stuff's going to Jeremiah). If we all fail and die, you'll need to deliver the creepy stuff to Lillian's Aunt Anne (or failing that, some people Joyce knows in Massachusetts -- see attached pages for that address). You're also in charge of taking care of Jeremiah until he's okay to be on his own. He's more resilient than I am by a long shot, but I figure I should make sure at least one person is keeping an eye on him if I don't make it off this goddamn mountain.
Study, learn, practice, find and make beauty, enjoy life, grow strong and able. Love your friends and family and treat them well, according to their needs. Love your enemies and deal with them swiftly and mercifully. Love the world, especially when it seems unloveable. Love yourself all the more.


But actual important thing here: YOU SHOULD NOT FEEL OBLIGED TO CONTINUE WHAT WE WERE DOING. I know people talk a lot about big concepts like Truth and Justice and Duty and all that bullshit, but really, all I want you to do is live. Live however you think is right but fuck it all, Darla, make yourself happy -- you never thought enough about your happiness when I was around (guess you had to make up for me). The universe is big and bad, there's a lot that that'll make you miserable if you let it -- live, be happy in spite of it, to spite it; laugh and live and laugh in its ugly face, sister mine. We're all born to die here, whether by big gross aliens or something a touch more subtle; if we were truly sane we'd all crumple into existential despair the moment we realized that fact.
All my love,


I know your predilections, sister mine. I know if I die you'll likely think you somehow have a duty to defeat the mythos.
Your mother,


As much as I'm capable, I want to release you from the idea that you have that duty. You're prone to sacrificing your own happiness to help sad sacks like me -- stop it. Find some happiness for yourself. The universe is a nasty place. We're all on this tiny planet spinning through a cold void, helpless in the face of death (it's inevitable) -- but before you die, sister mine, I want you to live a life that makes you happy. Before you die, just promise me you'll live.
Lillian Avery
 
Wait. You can't promise me anything. I'm supposed to be dead in this letter, aren't I? Whoops.
 
Love you,
 
Martin

Latest revision as of 23:34, 11 November 2014

My Darling Child,

Know that you are loved. The Dark Mother loves us all, but she has loved me very well, and has allowed me to emulate her in all things. Kali ceased her dancing for a time to succor the infant Shiva. The Destroyer had taken the form of an infant, to remind Kali that she was a mother. And so The Darkness that gave rise to all things nurtured the god who will one day destroy them. So I have been blessed with the chance, however brief it may be, to care for you.

Know this about your mother: there was a darkness about me. Others may try to shield you from this fact. Forgive them, they mean well. I have always found beauty in darkness. It is possible that you will find a darkness within you. Try to see its beauty.

It is likely that you will not fit well in most societies. You can blame me for that. I would apologize, but I must believe that it is part of Kali’s plan for you, as it was Her plan for me. I will attempt to give you an advantage I did not have, an understanding of your nature, and a sense of purpose to answer the question, “why was I made this way?”

You were made to protect those who live in the light, though you may live much of your life in darkness, and be comforted by it. Kali loved me very much to give me this sacred duty, and with love I pass the duty on to you.

There will be joy and sorrow in your life, and I hope to be there to share some of it with you. You may find some of that joy and sorrow in strange places, as I did. THERE IS NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT. The world is a strange and terrible and wonderful place, more so than words can express. You are part of the world, and you will be strange and terrible and wonderful, and that is the most human thing you could be.

I hope this is the first of many things I have to tell you, though honesty compels me to say it may be the last.

Study, learn, practice, find and make beauty, enjoy life, grow strong and able. Love your friends and family and treat them well, according to their needs. Love your enemies and deal with them swiftly and mercifully. Love the world, especially when it seems unloveable. Love yourself all the more.

All my love,

Your mother,

Lillian Avery

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