Isabella & Darla Letter to Lillian

Dear Lillian,

Darla and I are writing this letter together to tell you what to do 
about Martin because you are right, he is completely off his rocker 
a lot of the time and we're his sisters so we have good advice.

Please make sure he washes regularly. He becomes foul if he doesn't. 
Please make sure he also eats, and not just things that are bad for him. 
Please make sure he doesn't drink too much; when he drinks he cannot 
control himself and becomes very sad.

Yes, make sure he doesn't drink! He is a bumming alcoholic and it makes 
him look like a slob. Make sure he doesn't spend too much time in Automats; 
he will go in them and sit in them for hours if you are not careful. Do 
they have automats in Los Angeles? I hear it is like the frontier.

If he gets into a fight, he will come back bruised. Please tend to him 
and do not ask him too many questions; they will make him angry.

No, DO ask him questions! He shouldn't be getting into fights. He is 
better at books anyway. Make sure he doesn't mope too long over those 
dusty antiques.

He likes the antiques.

Oh! And see if you can find him a girl. If you can find him a girl it 
would be delightful. I know he says he likes boys but there has to be 
at least ONE girl he likes. I'm convinced he liked that girl Caro from 
University, even if he won't admit it. He will be contrarian but DO NOT 
LOSE HEART.

If he is angry and sarcastic, do not take it personally.

We give you permission to insult him back if he is sardonic at you. That
usually gets him back into fighting shape!

We miss and adore you!

Isabella and Darla

While reading the part about how she should try to find Martin a woman, Lillian is overheard to mutter "Oh dear... just, no. No no no no no no no no no."