Marvel Fanfare 19: The Bronx is Up and the Battery's Down

Starring Nightcrawler, Cyclops and Angel! (And Amanda, Madeline and Candy!)

The sextet is bundled up against the January at JFK in the early morning. The timing is such that the flight from Alaska arrived very shortly before the Worthington jet's rapidly scheduled arrival, meaning that bags are thrown in the back of the limo (this is Warren after all) and the rough decision has been made to spend 24 hours in the city, crashing at Warren's penthouse, before Warren and Candy flew back and the remainder went north to Salem Center.

"MMMMMmmm New York!" Warren yells over the wind. "Barney Greengrass for blintzes anyone?"

"Ja, Warren. That would be a welcome breakfast. Have you a plan for the rest of the day too, or are we going to take it as it comes? Amanda can resist the siren song of Bloomingdales for a while I'm sure."

Kurt dodges - unsuccessfully - a poke in the ribs from Amanda's gloved hand.

"And Scott," he addresses the other X-Man. "Are you planning a whirlwind tour of the city for your new bride?"

"That's the plan," Scott says. "We always have plan, you should know that..."

Madeline nods, "Museum of Natural History, then Empire State Building, then Coney Island."

"Seriously?" Candy asks her.

"I'm a Gene Kelly fan."

"OK, but Coney's kinda..." Candy shrugs, "It ain't what it was."

Warren nods, "You can say that again. We have some property out there and the whole place is a mess of zoning issues and legal challenges."

"The rest sounds good. My place is right near the museum and I never make it there," Amanda adds.

"How about a show? I should be able to get us tickets to La Cage aux Folles tonight" Warren suggests, the turns to Kurt - "anything you want to add?"

"If I have to watch that show again," Kurt says with a meaningful look at Amanda, "I shall probably lose what little remains of my mind."

Amanda returns his look with an air of studied innocence.

"Let's do the museum. The professor will be delighted we're broadening our minds, and the gift shop is supposed to be amazing. The Empire State to follow is fine with me, we might even bump into Spider-Man. I hear he uses the observation platform as a jumping off point."

Time for the wacky ‘On The Town’ Montage!

• Nightcrawler with a face full of candy floss (cotton candy) (it's the very devil to get out of fur);
• Scott and Kurt looking at a prehistoric ape in the Natural History museum and trying to decide if it looks more like Hank McCoy or Wolverine;
• The boys standing around sheepishly as outside the changing rooms in some swanky store, then a quick sequence of panels of the girls in outlandish clobber (even for 1980's fashions) to gratify the Marvel Fanfare artist's frustrated fashion designer, before finishing with them all falling laughing into a taxi or limo.]
• Them in the dinosaur exhibit with Scott and Warren arguing over the validity of the pterodon wingspan,
• Them at the top of the Empire State building with Scott pointing things out in the far distance to Madeline (and possibly Kurt visible only as his tail with the rest of him on the very tippy top spire) - truly observant readers will make out Ham and Monk from the Doc Savage stories on the observation deck with them
• The group looking up and pointing at Spider Man as he swings away from the Daily Bugle building, JJ Jameson leaning out a window and yelling after him, fist waving.

Finally a moment where the three men are alone for a minute - the ladies visiting the loo at a late lunch, likely. "So, Scott," Warren broaches, "I still have a job opening on the Defenders... You and the Misses looking to move down south?"

Scott shakes his head, "Not happening, Warren. Hank tell me you guys are doing fine. I'd like a crack at a normal life for a little while."

"Normal is overrated," Warren responds. "To be honest, though, I'm not sure how long we can keep it going. Candy's acting as our logistical leader but, well Bobby's looking to take it easy for a bit, Hank could always go back to the Avengers, and other than Brunhilda no one really has any...fire."

Kurt nods at Warren's concerns. "Ah, Warren, getting new team members to gel is hard work, and takes time. Not to mention keeping them around." He gives Scott a sidelong look.

Then with perhaps a hint of forced jolity, "Perhaps we should arrange a loan, or a swap! Valkyrie and Moondragon would be splendid additions to the X-Men."

He looks at the incredulous expressions on his friends' faces. "Um, or not. Maybe it would be best if you didn't mention to Amanda that I said that."

"Trust me on this one, Kurt old buddy," Warren says, "You do *not* want Moondragon on your team. Bald telepath with a superiority complex doesn't sell well regardless of the chassis. The prof's mellowed with age, but from what Hank tells me Moondragon just gets sharper and more pungent."

"Are you comparing telepaths to cheeses?" Scott gives him a sidelong look.

"Prepping for the appetizer tonight."

"No," Scott says flatly, "Under no circumstances are we taking the girls to a Manhattan yuppified wine and cheese bar to watch them get hit on by drunk stockbrokers. Not now. Not ever."

"Do you know somewhere else?" Warren asks. "Somewhere with the right atmosphere?"

Kurt replies, "Well, I know this little place..."

The group ends up at Chumley's at 86 Barrow Street in the West Village, where Logan and Kurt had had a good night drinking some weeks back. It's an old writer's haunt with their pictures on the walls and any number of dimly lit tables and booths and, as they learned, really good hamburgers.

"This is so...Gotham," Madeline sighs as they look around the place, now relatively full with West Village types enjoying an evening of hearty drinks and equally hearty food. Since everyone lunch was very light (albeit late in the afternoon) and some time ago, that sounds good to all, and the bar's general warmth seeps in.

"This is perfect Kurt," Scott says, "Much better than wine and cheese."

"OK, ok, drop the whining," Warren shoots back.

"So how's work, Candy," Madeline asks with an innocent grin.

"Frustrating." Candy gives an exaggerated sigh. "I have this taskmaster of a boss - the only advantage is that he's _really_ cute I have a passel of really strange people I'm supposed to be managing, everyone's crap at schedules and deadlines..."

"I. Smell. Sitcom!" Amanda replies with a grin. "Warren, make it happen."

"Oh no!" Kurt expresses mock dismay. "If there's any thing worse than trying to organize a superhero team of lovable misfits, it's trying to make it work in Hollywood. I don't care if I do have an uncanny resemblance to Douglas Fairbanks Jr., I'm _not_ moving to Tinsel Town."

"Seriously though Candy, I sympathise. Organizing a group of adults with their own lives and careers is a lot harder than managing a group of students." He pauses for a moment with a puzzled expression. "Um, what exactly do the rest of the Defenders do with their spare time when you're not fighting the good fight?"

"Bicker," Candy replies without missing a beat.

"Now that's not fair!" Warren responds.

"OK, Isaac doesn't bicker," Candy concedes. "Of course Isaac is more mature than anyone else on the team so I expect more from him. Even you, my dear, bicker from time to time."

The first round of beers arrive, along with the limited but well executed menu and a bowl full of salty chips.

"OK, fine, we bicker. It's just that Hank and I have recruited a room full of crazy people."

Scott's raised eyebrow is visible behind his glasses, 'You don't say."

Kurt bites his tongue and studiously applies himself to the chips and beer.

The waitress - clearly yet another actress waiting for her big break - clears away the empty and brings over another round, and for a moment we follow her back to the bar, and past that to the back of the tavern, where she confers with a casually dressed man, "Yeah, that Senegali guy is back. You told me to tell you."

"And the others?"

"One smokin' hot blond guy, and another guy with bright red shades. They girls are a redhead and a pair of brunettes. Why do you need to know?"

"They owe the boss some money," he tells her casually and she nods, accepting this.

He slips further back into the bar, downstairs into the office basement, and there into the former speakeasy's hidden catacombs. He nods to a few other people in green and black jumpsuits whose epaulets are gold with black circle split by a black line. He quickly locates a shadow figure hunched over a piece of complex electronics. "Yes, Jenkins, what now?"

"Nightcrawler has returned, with Cyclops for certain, possibly Angel and Marvel Girl. I don't recognize the others."

"ANGEL!" the hunched man spits, "Not him again, not when we're so close. Very well, let's test the quality of our product, shall we?" he flicks a few switches.

Back up in the bar the fire alarm goes off. "Oh great," Candy moans.

The waitress comes over "can we get everyone to step outside until the fire department clears this? Nothin' our kitchens but the apartments above us," she jerks her head up a little "well, we should be careful."

The rest of the patrons - relieved that no one is trying to chivvy money out of them immediately - get up, grab jackets and start moving into the street.

Scott gets a somewhat tense look on his face. "I don't smell smoke. Do you smell smoke?"

"Nein, Scott. I don't smell smoke either. Let us get outside and survey the situation. It may be a simple fire or something more sinister..."

Nightcrawler makes to gather Amanda's coat and get the group moving to the exit.

Everyone else grabs their coats and heads out, wary. Warren hands his coat to Candy and casually undoes some buttons on his shirt in case he needs to doff it quickly to free up his wings.

The group's caution is well founded as once everyone is outside a nearby manhole cover explodes upwards, flying some hundred feet in the air before tumbling back down. The crowd starts to run away from its likely landing spot but it freezes midair before landing, floating there.

"uh oh," Scott says.

From the now-open manhole come two figures - the first rocketing out on pterodactyl wings and the latter rising from the ground with a great innate dignity not concealed by his scarlet cloak and helm.

"Now, X-Men, your attempt to prevent my master stroke was doomed from the start." Intones Magneto as he hurls the manhole cover towards them. The X-men dodge the missile but it is clearly coming back for a return pass.

Overhead Sauron screeches "Flee, pathetic humans!" before doing a flying swoop through the crowd that wastes no time in doing just that. Sauron banks back up , his glittery eyes on the crowd.

Scott whispers, "Maddy, go - corral the rest of the crowd. He's clearing the field and I'm inclined to let him. Guys, play defense until we can get everyone clear."

A crimson beam flashes out to destroy the manhole cover but all it succeeds in doing is knocking it off line from its next attack run.

Warren rips off his shirt, his wings quickly bearing him into the air. He too swoops down towards two shocked tourists, snagging them and carrying them away, "Ma'am, sir, you'd be best served to run from here", he lands them with the rest of the fleeing crowd before joining Sauron in going for some altitude. Warren has a long history with that particular monster, Kurt knows, and can't be relishing a rematch.

Nightcrawler springs to a nearby streetlight and with acrobatic flair leaps across the street to usher, or possibly scare, away some gawking bystanders. "Get back! Clear the area!"

This the last warning the crowd needs and people, New Yorkers all, run out of range of the crazy super-hero fight. Candy has clearly taken control of the crowd, with Madeline as her lieutenant, and is making sure everyone stays clear. Amanda is taking up the rear, more backing away quickly than running, her hands outstretched as if preparing defensive magic in case of a stray attack.

With a bamf and the stink of brimstone he teleports close enough to Scott to say "Cyclops, this seems off to me. What on earth is Magneto doing in the sewers under a bar in the Village?"

"Agreed. I was thinking Arcade but this isn't his usual MO." Scott says.

"We're not in a position to face Magneto or Sauron here; we have to get the girls clear and lure our opponents away from the crowds."

"Whoever's running this show seems to want the crowds out of the way. Angel and I will play tag with these two. Why don't you see what's down in that sewer?"

Nightcrawler bounds away from Cyclops in a dash, and makes for the open manhole. He dives down it, clinging to the wall of the tunnel as his eyes adjust to the changing light level.

"Now Angel, we finish what we started some time ago." Sauron hovers in midair for a minute before changing direction and rocketing towards Warren. The high flying Angel is too quick for him, however, keeping clear of the attack while still gaining altitude.

"Now, Cyclops, we finish what we started some time ago." Magneto hovers in midair as he directs the manhole cover at Scott again. Cyclops again parries the object with an optic blast, sending it flipping through the air, but without something to pin it against - or a direct narrow beam shot - the iron object is too solid to be shattered with a blast.

Cyclops watches the manhole cover as it flips and spins before it rights itself. There he thinks and then fires somewhere else. The optic blast bounces off another manhole still in the street and comes up almost directly underneath the weaponized municipal property. A small device attached to the cover's underside shatters under the impact and the iron disk falls to the ground with a clatter.

One issue down. I have to keep its attention on me...

"Now then, 'Magneto', what else have you got?"

Up above Angel forces his opponent to come higher to catch him, keeping a watch on Sauron's movements.

He's not usually capable of those bursts of upward speed, but they seem to slow him down for a few seconds afterwards Warren thinks and his wings aren't working right...woops!

Sauron rockets up again, and again Angel dodges by a narrow margin. Warren gains even more height, so that the city is laid out underneath him as his eyes scan for some specific architectural features.

Inside the tunnel Nightcrawler moves with speed and silent certainty through the shadows. Along the way the mud* below is churned up as if someone had applied downward pressure to it, from a hovercar or cut rate antigravity rig. The displacement stops suddenly, which is all the hint that Kurt needs to spot the concealed door in the tunnel wall. A few seconds of checking reveals the hidden control panel for the door. Unfortunately Kurt is lacking in the tools to hotwire it.

Based his general sense of space this tunnel would lead to somewhere directly under the bar at which they were just eating.

Nightcrawler mutters to himself. "I cannot teleport blindly past this door. Who knows what lies beyond it? I could end up inside some solid object." He shudders at the prospect. "However, the bar above must be empty now, and I suspect has an entrance to these tunnels from above. How else did our presence in a NYC bar draw the attention of whoever is behind the ersatz Magneto and Sauron?"

He pictures the bar above and teleports, aiming to arrive just above the bar top.

It doesn't take him long to locate the downstairs office. The 'secret door' to the catacombs would have been well hidden if not for its increasingly frequent use and the wear patterns in the carpet give it away. A few moments of prodding reveals the door latch and Nightcrawler is able to slip in, apparently unnoticed.

There are four flunkies wearing green and black jumpsuits with the strange split circle epaulets, but none of them are terribly observant, their eyes focused on displays showing the fight outside. Some are taking notes on clipboards as they track how the action is going.

"Man, does that script need work..." one of them comments.

Past these people there is a flight of steps down into a manufacturing floor. Hanging alongside the stairs, as if they were display models behind glass, are the bodies super-heroes: the Fantastic Four Captain America, Hawkeye and several other Avengers. Kurt can see several more such figures, as well as several villains, down on the manufacturing floor. There are another half dozen green clad flunkies mixed among them, all looking up at the big display that dominates the far wall.

In the middle of the manufacturing floor is a large table covered with robot parts. Someone is sitting with his back to Nightcrawler on a stool at that table, and he too is watching the display. Alas, he is too much in shadow for Nightcrawler to identify him - not the least because his outfit has a raised hood.

The screen is split to show both the Angel v. Sauron and Cyclops v. Magneto battles, and so far both of Kurt's allies appear unhurt.

With a bamf, Nightcrawler clears the space across the floor to arrive with a puff of smoke on top of the table covered in robot parts. A flick of his tail sweeps most of the components on to the floor, but grasps one sturdy looking arm and brandishes it - sword-fashion - in the face of his hooded foe. He kicks a metal skull assembly into the air and catches with his right hand.

"Sorry to interrupt the big game, gentlemen. Think of me as the halftime show."

He hurls the metal skull at the largest screen, hoping to shatter it and unnerve the flunkies.

The Mockingbird skull flies across the room and shatters the screen, with the desired effect of the flunkies scattering around the room in an obvious panic.

The hunched figure glares up at him from inside his hood and Nightcrawler sees a pudgy, slightly lopsided face with bulging eyes. "You...you...Meddler!" he sputters before standing and revealing himself to be....

Cyclops, having dealt with the menace of the manhole cover, takes a step towards Magneto and fires once. The optic blast staggers the master villain, but mostly ricochets from a field around his body.

the real Magneto would have totally shrugged off blast of that strength, but there is some sort of field there... Cyclops thinks. Let's try not to damage any property.

Magneto raises his hand "Cyclops you fool, to think that you stand a chance." Light erupts around Magneto's hand as a metallic strand flies from his hand towards Cyclops.

Again, an Optic Blast flares, pulverizing the incoming missile. "Nice lightshow to hide the launching mechanism, but no dice, whoever you are."

Cyclops fires a wide-angle beam that catches the master of magnetism from head to toe, lifting him off his feet and pushing him back. The beam concentrates, accelerating the backward push and pinning the form to the side of a garbage truck before narrowing even more and punching a neat hole right through the robot's smoking chest. It slumps to the ground, inert.

"Thanks for the workout, whoever you are," Cyclops says, pleased that there is nary a smoking crater in sight.

Overhead Angel looks down towards Sauron, There it is! This ersatz Sauron manages about a hundred yards in a charge. Hover right here for a second, wait for it,

"Angel, you fool, to think that you stand a chance."

The winged figure below him rockets up again, even as Angel again hammers the air with his wings, getting even higher, When Sauron's charge sputters out Warren does a swift wingover and hurtles down at the reptilian form, hitting it square in the back as it wobbles in the air, unsteady. Whatever force was holding it upright wavers and the pair plummet, with Angel using his wings to increase speed more and more as they fall through the Manhattan skyline into Greenwich village.

Sauron's systems start fighting against the descent but it is too little, too late. The pair's flight ends abruptly as Sauron slams into the sharp edges Grace Church's spires as Angel pulls out of the dive at the last second. The robot, impaled on the stone edifice, smokes and sputters before going limp.

"Nice try, Mr. Robot. And that means I know who's responsible for this mess!"

Angel swoops back over the village, flying past the hero's lady friends to let them know everything is all right on his way back to Scott. "Cyclops, The Thing and I battled this particular amusement park nonsense before! This has to be...."

Back inside the secret base

Nightcrawler beholds...The Toad!

"You had to stick your furry blue nose into my plans, didn't you?" the hunched figure thunders as he leaps from his position, flying across the room, "You and your interfering winged boy millionaire!* Not this time, not when I'm so close!

[*ED: see Marvel Two-in-One #68 for details on what he's ranting about.]

Toad leaps around the room several times in an apparently erratic fashion, forcing Kurt to spin to keep an eye on him, before coming in for a kick from an unexpected position, tagging Kurt soundly on the shoulder.

Nightcrawler's no slouch in the athletics department either and goes with the kick into a roll, teleports and comes out above and behind Toad's head, hoping to spin/kick the fellow into submission. He's wary of the mutant's sticky tongue nonetheless.

Nightcrawler's foot lands a solid blow against Toad's skull, doubtless ringing the poor fellow's chimes. During the moment where Toad is stunned Kurt grabs him and the pair vanish, leaving the room's population wondering where their boss went.

He's upstairs, well upstairs, on the roof, puking his guts out. Kurt, having just done a semi blind vertical teleport higher than he reasonably needed to make sure he didn't materialize inside something. He aches all over from the strain but Toad, unprepared, by far as the worse of it.

"Mortimer Toynbee!" Angel yells, completing his earlier thought when he sees the pair materialize. "What the heck do you think you're doing!"

While Toad continues his painful recovery Warren swoops down to grab Scott so that all three of them might confront the 'evil mutant'. By the time he's up there Toad is shaking his head "oh no no no no..."

"Well?" Warren asks him, "I'm waiting."

Cyclops looks between Toad and Angel. "What is going on?" he asks with a wary tone.

"Toynbee here works for me. He set up an ersatz Murderworld about two years ago in Dr. Doom's abandoned castle. He owed Arcade a lot of money for helping set it up and the murderous little runt was demanding it. Toad started freaking out, so I offered to cover his debt if he turned the castle into an amusement park or something, as part of Worthington Holdings."

Cyclops is staring at him, "Uh huh. Go on."

Angel shrugged, "What? That's it. He's been on the payroll as manager of Toadland ever since. They were going great - good location, we needed more parking last I saw... Well to be honest I haven't really looked at the business statements since the Defenders kicked off...."

Cyclops palms his forehead, "Warren, that's..."

[BR: feel free to insert the term of your choice here, Kurt me'boy.]

Kurt is busy stifling sniggers and can't even manage a half-way convincing straight face.

Toad looks up, "I'm sorry sir. Doom came back, you see. He kicked me out of the castle, destroyed all my work."

Toad stands to his usual cringing height, "But you'd had such faith in me, making me the division head of Worthington Live Entertainment, I couldn't tell you. So, I put in a requisition for some more funds, moved some numbers around, and secured a rental on this place as a new base of operations. I had this idea..."

He stands up a little taller, his hands forming a large frame so that the others might share his vision "_Master Toads!_ A restaurant and bar in the city where most of the wait staff are super-heroes! Not real super heroes, of course, but robot duplicates of them. The live staff will all be dressed up as flunkies, like you see in the movies, and I could be the maître de - the big-time real mastermind in charge of this kitschy evil lair.

He goes on, clearly enamored with the idea, "So I've got future wait staff training at this bar that I've rented - New York actors will wear anything if you tell them it'll look good to Equity - and I'm building the robot wait staff." Toad lowers his head again, "I kinda co-opted part of your legal department to claim display and presentation rights for various super heroes. You'd be amazed how few of them think about these sorts of copyright issues... but once I had that finished none of the heroes would be able to stop me from using their likenesses. "

He looks up " I wanted to have this done before anyone at Worthington Holdings questioned what I was up to, or realized that Toadland was kaput. I The Manhattan real estate market is brutal right now and we haven't been able to find a venue."

Toad looks up, a pathetically earnest expression on his face. "Sorry if I overreacted when you showed up. I thought you were coming to fire me."

At this point Nightcrawler loses what little remains of his self-control and bursts out laughing. "Oh, Warren, this is wunderbar, wonderful!" he cries as he tries to remain upright. "Toad, you are a genius. Your talents have been wasted in super-crime. Promise me you'll save me a table for the opening night!"

Kurt slaps Warren in a friendly way on the shoulder. "C'mon, this is a marvellous idea. New Yorkers and tourists will flock to the place. Just so long as Toad doesn't tick off any real super villains who take a dislike to the idea..."

Cyclops is shaking his head, "You can't seriously be considering listening to this man..."

"Hey," Warren counters, "You were talking earlier how nice it was that Scarlet Witch was working with the X-Men these days! Maybe Toad here just needs a break as well."

Kurt can't tell whether he's actually serious about this or if it's just Warren getting his back up about Scott questioning his judgment.

"Hey!" They hear Amanda's voice from the street "Are you guys up there? The bar is opening back up!"

"I can't believe people are just heading back in" Kurt can make out Madeline saying.

"It's Manhattan, Jake" Candy replies.

"Miss Southern!" Toad yells. "I'll fetch her!"

The small mutant leaps from the rooftop down to street level before anyone can react, and reappears over the edge of the building with Candy, surprisingly unruffled, slung under one arm.

Nightcrawler leans over the ledge and waves to Amanda and Madeline. "D'you want to come up or shall we meet back in the bar?"

Amanda shakes her head, not fancying a stomach-churning teleport. She takes Madeline by the arm and the two head into the establishment, clearly in need of a fresh round of drinks.

"Miss Southern helped sign a bunch of paperwork at the start of Toadland," Toad informs Cyclops and Nightcrawler, looking up at Candy with undisguised adoration. "She'll support Master Toads, won't you?"

Candy, in the process of handing Warren his shirt and jacket, listens as Toad again lays out his business plan.

"Nightcrawler's got worries about liability issues," Warren adds as puts on his clothes. "And Mortimer still hasn't found a venue."

Candy shrugs, "Put it in Coney to start. The land's all zoned for entertainment venues, and what costumed maniacs are going to schlep out there to defend their reputations?"

Toad leaps for joy, clearing three stories.